on saturday i had a day off. just one day off, which wasn't long enough to go back to my parents'. instead, i stayed at the trailer in town. i knew i had to mow the lawn, because one of the requirements that went along with us staff members staying in the trailer is that we had to make sure the lawn was mowed regularly. apparently, last year's residents didn't do that, and neighbours phoned the provincial government (which owns the property) to complain. eeks. i didn't want that. but no one had been able to find the key to our shed until the very end of may, so our grass was getting pretty long.
i got out of bed and threw on some clothes, keeping my glasses on because my allergies have been making my eyes crazy itchy lately and i have to take eye drops every 4 hours (the preservatives in the drops prevent me from wearing my contacts). i looked gross and felt gross. i got the lawnmower out of the shed and tried to start it. it wouldn't start. i kept pulling on it. it didn't start. i checked the gas. there was some in it, but it still wouldn't start. i noticed some guy, around my age, walking across the trailer park towards me. i thought i heard him yell something, but since i hoped it wasn't to me, i ignored it. however, he came up to me and asked if i was having problems. obviously, yes. he checked the gas and added some more from what we had in the shed. he asked if i had any oil, and i said no. he asked if i could drive a standard. i said no, and hesitatingly asked why. he said that if i could, he would get me to drive his car over to the gas station to pick up some oil. i said i had my own car and that i could take it. he asked if i wanted him to come along, and since i didn't really know what to get, i said yes. while we were walking to my car, i asked him what the deal was with his car, and he said he couldn't drive it because he had been charged with a DUI and had had his license taken away. ugh! (i think that DUIing is one of the most appalling things that people can do.) on the way there and back, i was really careful about indicating just how introverted and unappealing i would be to him (hints like "i really like crafts" and "i just like being by myself during the summers" would do the trick, i thought). when we got back, he put the oil in the mower and tried to start it and it worked. i was about to thank him and start mowing when he said, "so, uh, do you want my number in case you have any more problems with your mower?" it was a pretty reasonable question, and i couldn't think of any reason to say no, so i very hesitatingly (that word will come up several more times) said okay, and headed inside to get a pen and paper. he wrote it down and i started mowing, and then he asked, "so, do you want to watch a movie tonight?" again, hesitatingly, i kind of stammered and said, "um, maybe, i don't know, i'll see." and then he didn't really move away or anything, so i stopped and wrote down my phone number. ugh! i felt like i didn't have a choice. i mean, a) he had helped me, and b) he is my neighbour and knows where i live. i would rather get a phone call than a door knock. he turned away and i finished mowing my lawn.
i went inside to take a shower (because i am so allergic to grass and anything that grows and lives), and before i had even gotten a chance to get dressed, he called. he asked me what i was doing, and since i didn't want to offer up the imagery of me wearing only a towel, i kind of mumbled, "nothing." he asked if i wanted to learn how to drive a standard. i couldn't think of a good excuse not to. i knew that he was probably desperate for company (i found out through the course of the day that he's a 30-year-old rock truck driver in cold lake, and moved here with his parents from newfoundland about a year ago to work), and equally desperate to go for a ride in his new car, which he was unable to drive himself because of the previously mentioned DUI. it was nice to learn, but i was terrified i would smash his car, terrified he would make a move on me, annoyed by his mixture of clubbing/nickelbackesque music, irritated by the FIVE cigarettes he smoked while we were in the car, and a little surprised that the directions he gave me led not just around this town, but all the way to a town half an hour up the highway and back. while we were there, he insisted we stop at a movie rental place to pick up some movies. after he had picked one out, he asked me, "what do you want to watch tonight?" i said, "well, i've got this book i want to finish tonight" (which was true), "so i'm not sure i'm up for a movie tonight." he didn't really acknowledge that i had said anything, and 20 seconds later, repeated his question. ugh. so i picked out "valkyrie," because i was remotely interested in seeing it and it seemed like the only movie that i would like that he would like too. and i wanted to be sure that if we did end up watching a movie, that his attention would be as glued to the movie as possible.
i dropped him and his car off at his house, and as i was getting out, he said, "so, you're going to come over and watch that movie later?" again, i told him i wanted to finish my book, and that i had 150 pages left but that i'd call him at 6:00 to let him know how close i was to the end. at 4:45 he called and asked if i wanted to come over for a steak supper with his family. eek! he knew that my roommates weren't getting home until 6:30, and he knew that i hate cooking, and he knew that i didn't really have any other plans beside reading. so what could i say? i hesitatingly, again, said okay, but told him i wanted to read until his dad got home and supper was ready to eat. after i hung up i dropped a ton of cuss words loudly and then read a bit and reluctantly made my way over to his trailer.
his family's yippy dogs were running and barking all over, his parents were dressed in sweatpants and lying on the couch, and he came to the door wearing the "i am canadian" sandals he had been wearing earlier. we ate supper and both he and his dad smoked two cigarettes each during the meal. then he asked if i was ready to watch the movie. it was 6:30, and i didn't see a way out, so i told him i'd watch it but that i had to go home right after to finish my book. i thought we'd go watch it in the living room. but of course, that didn't happen. he stopped in his room and sat on his bed in front of the t.v. stand that sat to the right of it. i didn't move past the door. he looked up at me and kind of laughed and said, "what?" i said, "um, are we going to watch it in here?" he said yeah. for fuck's sake. i sat down on the end of the bed closest to the door, furthest away from the t.v., and leaned against the wall. he got up and shut the door "because of the glare." during the movie he smoked 5 more cigarettes, and halfway through, asked, "do you want to lay down? my back's kind of sore." the first unhesitant sentence i said all day was, "nope, thanks, sitting like this is most comfortable for me." he laid down anyway, and i curled my knees up to my chest and kept a solid few inches between us at all times. before the end credits even started rolling, i bolted out the door and said thanks and goodbye. i was very careful not to use the words, "see you later."
i was frustrated that nearly 6 hours of my day off had been stressful and not restful at all. thankfully, i haven't heard from him since.
but... i felt like i got back at the world karmically today, or at least improved my ability to assert myself. my coworkers and i went for supper at a local restaurant, and when we ordered, the waitress asked each of us, "caesar or tossed salad?" which seemed to all of us to indicate that it was included in the meal, as it is in many restaurants. i said caesar, only because it took less words than saying, "none for me, i don't like salad." i'm already reputed to be a picky eater, and i didn't want to have to bring more attention to that. so when i got my salad, i ate all four croutons and three pieces of lettuce, and left the rest. when i went to pay for my meal, they charged me $16.95 for the elk steak and $4.50 for the salad. at first, i reacted by saying, "what? for real? you guys are charging for that? i totally didn't want it. well, whatever." but then i thought it over, and decided that i never really DID want it, and that the waitress' wording was deceiving to me and everyone at my table, and i didn't eat much at all anyway. i told the lady at the till, "you know what? no, i'm not going to pay for that. i didn't want it, and i hardly ate any of it anyway. i'm just going to pay for the steak." she looked pretty taken aback, and then she got aggressive, saying, "what, it's my fault that you can't read? it says right there on the menu that the meal only includes steak, vegetables, a baked potato, and garlic toast." i told her calmly that it wasn't anybody's fault, but that i still wasn't going to pay for it. everyone i was eating with kind of passively agreed that we'd all understood the salad was included in the meal price. she compromised and said, "well, i'll charge you each $2 for the salad. that's fair." i said no again, that i wasn't going to pay for any of the salad, and that i certainly wouldn't be back there again. yikes. she sure wasn't happy with me, but i didn't end up paying for that stupid salad. three people in my group paid half price for their salads (because they ate them all), and one guy didn't even mention that he had gotten a salad. what a fucking ordeal. so i'm sure i've made some enemies, but whatevs. it felt good to assert myself after that ridiculous day with the lawnmower guy.
-working on the illustrations for my cree books. they are going soooo slowly, but i like them.
