no plans

most staff from bina hill are in lethem at the rupununi expo. i didn't have the cash to go (money is SO difficult to get around here), and i've been feeling sick anyway, so i stuck around here for the weekend. yesterday i holed myself up in the office and watched three movies by myself: the notebook, reality bites, and amelie. surprisingly, it's the first i've seen any of them. anyway, strangely, TWO of the movies (the notebook and amelie) featured the following:
1. one half of of a blossoming relationship uses arrows on the ground to create a trail for the other half to follow and find a surprise (sometimes i wish i had a few more arrows-then-surprises in my life, instead of just surprises or chaos-then-surprises).
2. a thick stack of still-in-the-envelope mail. in amelie, the envelopes had been opened and the letters read (but still saved); in the notebook, none had been opened (i am hopelessly in love with the idea of a stack of unopened, posted mail. so much so that i am tempted to save all the future packages i may receive while i am in guyana and not open them until 10 years from now. i hope, somewhere, there's a boy with an attic full of letters he's intended to send me but hasn't had the courage (wait, do i want an uncourageous boy? hmm...) to do yet. or maybe he just knows it's not the right time. yeah, that's better than being "uncourageous." and one day i'll find them, wrapped in a piece of brown twine, and i'll sit on my bed and read and re-read them. sigh. a more realistic version of that story will be that the most romantic piece of literature i will ever receive will be a post-it, stuck on a fridge, saying, "went to buy bread. love you, _______." i will still sit on my bed and read and re-read it. but it might feel a little bit different.).