the race is on

usually the younger grades from the reserves north of here are my favorite groups that come to the museum. the kids are adorable, and i like that they are always so excited to learn my name and then say, "hi, caylie! hi! remember me?" when i've presented a program to them in the morning and then again in the afternoon. sometimes they even call me "auntie caylie." so cute. like i've said before, most of them have mouths filled with cavities. usually even if i don't know where they're from, i can usually guess if they're from a reserve north of grouard based on their teeth. i'm not saying that to be disrespectful or funny or anything like that. i think it's an interesting fact and something to remain mindful of. i think i'm somewhat aware of health issues that plague aboriginal communities, but it's heartbreaking to see some of these causes and effects show up so early in kids so young.

anyway, yesterday we had a grade 2/3 class from a reserve north of here, and although the kids were adorable, it was kind of a bad day. here's why:

i know that being a white girl working at a native cultural arts museum will put me in a precarious position. i've been accused of being ignorant, racist, and being "the white man trying to take [the first nations'] culture." in some ways, i understand their frustration. but yesterday, while we were trying to do programs, one of the girls i work with heard some of the adults in the school group refer to us negatively as "white girls" in cree. the girls i work with are jen (a "white" girl who has lived up here her whole life, who is dating a cree boy, and who understands a bit of cree - she was the one who overheard the women), meghan and erin (both métis girls who look "whiter" than i do, and both of whom know and use a considerable amount of cree phrases), and aaron and sam (who both look aboriginal, but i think sam is the only one who is treaty). when the women got to aaron, they said, "finally! a brown face!" and went on to complain that the rest of us shouldn't be working there. like i said, i can kind of understand their frustration, but what really got to me was when i asked the group of children if they knew what i was talking about when i said, "the europeans." they didn't, so i said, "basically, it's the 'white' people" - to which one of the young girls replied, "oh, the enemy!" yikes. that's a scary thing to think about. the thing that's craziest is that the people who were hurt the most by this whole ordeal were megs and erin - the two girls who are métis but look white. megs' mom is treaty, and i'm not sure if her dad is actually status or not (but he is partly native), and i don't think she speaks cree fluently but she and her family use a lot of cree phrases at home. and erin's family is of the historical métis vein (i mean, from the historical definition of métis, not the current version), and she's lived in this area for the last 4 summers, and knows a good deal of cree phrases as well. i think they were pretty hurt that they were assumed ignorant based on their skin color. i've been learning a lot about race and racism this summer, and i guess pretty much everywhere i've lived/worked since university. i certainly learned a lot about it in guyana. i've been growing to understand that a lot of the hurt comes from within one's own race (ie. african-americans are deemed "too dark" or "not black enough" by other african-americans; métis or non-status are judged to be "not indian enough" or "not brown enough" or "not traditional enough" by other aboriginal people), BUT even so, a lot of the anger is directed towards "whites" (at least, that's what i've gathered from one book, a few t.v. shows and a couple of real life experiences). hummm. i think i've always just taken my skin color for granted. i've understood racism was a problem, but it has never really affected my life like it has recently. and to be honest, it's not even affecting my life all that much. but it is so hurtful and so fascinating at the same time. a boy i know used to be patted down almost every time he went to rexall place for an oilers game or a concert. was it because of his aboriginal facial features and his long dark hair? i, on the other hand, was allowed to bring a can of peaches (in LIQUID!!!) onto one of my flights when i was coming back from guyana. how did that happen? how much of a role did my skin color play in that?

if you're middle class and white, you should make an effort to live somewhere for a short period of time (a couple of months, maybe) where you are a visible minority. i think it'll be eye-opening. i think it'll be good for all of us.

anyway, i am heading off to my university-student-esque lunch of half a bowl of kraft dinner and a nutri-grain bar. i'm reaquainting my body to living on a grocery budget of $5/week.