freedom from myself and from the land

i went for a long walk to the anaconda pond by myself today. it was maybe the last time i'll get to do it, because we'll be pretty busy tomorrow doing wildlife festival, and then i fly out to georgetown on monday. anyway, the walk was great because:
1. the rainy season has started, so the entire path was under about 2 inches of water. at first i walked along the side, on the mushy savannah grass, but then i just decided to walk in the water. good decision. the ground is usually very very hard and very very hot, but this time it was very very soft and the water was just nice and warm.
2. i saw two snakes! i've been wanting to see snakes my whole time in guyana, and i hadn't seen ANY wild ones until last week. in the last week, i've seen THREE! the first one i saw today was a little one, about 6 or 8 inches long, right close to my foot. it was black and yellow. the other one was bigger: about 3 or 4 feet long, and about 1.5 inches fat. it was the same color. it was about 2 metres away from me when i first saw it, and it slithered across the savannah grass and up a tree. neat.

it hit me today: the debilitating emotion that always comes when goodbyes are near. i hate it. i don't think that people understand that the reason i am reluctant to start friendships and hang out with people is not because i am an antisocial bitch; it's because i just end up loving people and places so much that i can't handle when relationships end or i have to leave places i've grown to love. my heart literally aches for days (i developed a persistent ache in my chest in second year university, and i think it's related to emotion/stress) and i just cry and cry and cry. ugh. i am excited to get back home. i am NOT excited to leave.

the long-haired amerindian boy mentioned a few posts earlier wrote me a couple of e-mails today. arg. firstly, he called me "cayl" - don't ever, ever do that. secondly, his spelling was atrocious. you just ruined any chances you might have possibly had there, boy. it's official: i refuse to date any boy who doesn't know the difference between "its" and "it's." same goes for "they're/their/there" and "your/you're/yore." in other boy news, i told the guy who invited me to a cricket world cup game in georgetown that i had flown back to canada early, and therefore couldn't make the game. he seemed nice enough, but i just a) didn't want to put myself in a potentially bad situation, and b) didn't want to have to stumble through conversation for SEVEN HOURS, which is apparently the length of the cricket world cup games. i hope i don't run into him when i'm in g-town. yikes.