moon time.

a few years ago i started learning a lot about listening*, and decided to really focus on it in different ways. i've been told for years that christianity was special because it was all about a "personal relationship with Jesus," but i felt like i was just told what to believe and how to believe it by middle-class white men. i didn't want that. i think i'm sensitive and intelligent enough to figure out things on my own, in my own time. maybe that's what i like about medicine wheel teachings. i like being given time and space to do things in my own time, even if they could be done faster by someone else. and i like the recognition that each time is equally important. and i like having a personal relationship with my Creator, even if it doesn't look like what other people want it to look like.

so i've been teaching myself to listen in different ways. listening to my body, and my emotions, and my thoughts, and nature, and the people around me; and i think all of those are ways of listening to God/Creator/whatever you call Him. with that...

THIS SENTENCE SERVES AS A WARNING: the rest of this post is about menstruation. if you don't think you can handle it, don't read it. if you're going to think i am gross or something, don't read it. if you are going to post rude comments about "too much information," don't read it. i am writing about it because it has to do with listening. final warning.

so, i've been tracking my "moon time" diligently for the last 2 years, as an exercise in listening to myself better. and it's pretty regular, always between 22 and 28 days (i've heard birth control pills make it even more regular, but i am terrified of that shit. and... i don't need it. ha.). i just had it, like, a week and a half ago, and yesterday i got it again. strange. so i've just been trying to "listen" and figure out why it's happening irregularly. it might be because i am staying at the guesthouse here, and maybe some of the other girls here are making it all out of wack. maybe i am eating differently. maybe i am stressed out (money, airline tickets). my two more romantic views are that: a) it is affected by the full moon (the first time in february it started on the full moon, and now this irregular time started on the full moon too), or b) it was affected by the waterfalls i visited yesterday. i don't know if i'm that in tune with nature. but i know that some cultures believe that the moon and water can affect it. so i don't know what is causing it now: there are too many variables. but i am going to turn it into an experiment, i think. narrow down the variables and make note of what happens. move over, english degree. i am turning out to be a scientist.


*it was around the time that all the "listen [raven]" tags started showing up around edmonton (but i still maintain that the phrase and all its connotations became important to me independently of said tags, and therefore i have no qualms about putting the word on stuff that i make and "spreading the message," etc.). i hope that the "listen [raven]" person doesn't get upset. i don't think he/she would; it kind of defeats the purpose of the message.